Dreams, Sighs, and Wonderings

My husband is obviously NOT the man of my dreams.

Literally.

Experts say that dreams are essentially the SpinArt of our thoughts. Mine might begin like this: a dash of teaching. A speckle of excitement about a pedicure. A big glob of worry that I won't get the auto insurance paper work done. A dab of Dan. A blob of laundry. And a pinch of scrambled eggs for good measure. Drop them on the paper. Swirl. And voile! I dream that I am doing laundry on the morning of my first day of work. Suddenly, the dryer starts convulsing! I open the door cautiously, and an army of small feet marches out of the dryer. I follow them up the stairs, where my dining room has been transformed into a mechanic shop. Cars are being painted in every color of nail polish imaginable. I really like that hot green sparkly number, to be honest... And that's when he hits me! Square in the face with a balloon filled with eggs and bacon. Even in my dreams, he is such a clown... That's my Dan... in a diaper... because he's now... a... baby?

Yes, that, my friends, is the magic of dreamworld.

The dreams started a little before my wedding. Dan and I were on our honeymoon in Jamaica, where we had decided to go on a tour of the local falls. Something felt fishy to me, but  I couldn't figure out what. When we reached the top of the falls, sure enough, the tour guides showed their true colors. They were bandits and wanted our money. Well, being the heroes that we naturally are, Dan and I looked at each across the rock, and gave the understood signal. We then lunged at the marauders, temporarily disabling them, and made our getaway. We knew we needed to get to the airport, but it was clear that this was more than just a local brawl. Someone in the government knew we here....and they wanted us dead!

I never did get to see what happened to us on that trip, but I assume we figured out some daring way to get home. We usually do...

That particular dream was one-in-a-million for me, simply because Dan was actually in it. Any dreams I've had since then have been single missions. I pretty much spend all of my dreams these days looking FOR Dan.  Sometimes we're at his graduation. Except that I have to attend the ceremonies with one of his friends because he never shows up. Sometimes I'm waiting to watch a movie or play with him, but he's in his dorm sleeping. Once, the beach on which I was relaxing was suddenly overtaken by half-robot-half-human soldiers. They handed out soft drinks to us while they prepared us for the coming attack. I told the kind red-headed soldier that I couldn't find my husband, who was also a soldier. Please, if he could, tell my husband that I love him! That's when the ground began to move- it began to BREATH! As I lay on my stomach in the sand, trying to shield my little sister from the statue of John F. Kennedy that had arisen from the depths of the earth, I could FEEL the choppers pulsing through my body. "Where are you, Daniel? Where are you Daniel? Where are you Daniel?"

And I woke up.

My favorite Disney princess once sang, "A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep." I agree with her! Because every night I wish my husband would stop fooling around and just come back to bed. Every night he sends me on a wild goose chase to find him, and I long for the day when he'll sit still for 5 minutes and let me give him a piece of my mind!

She also sings, "In dreams you will lose your heartache... whatever you wish for, you keep!"

Well, see that's the problem with these movies, friends. They lie. Like in every chick flick, the main female character just happens to be walking in a beautifully blooming garden where her hair just happens to be fluttering gorgeously around her flawless face; and as she just happens to sigh and look up with a longing glance, Prince Charming, who is from the outer farm regions of Zambia, just happens to be walking by. He kneels, whips out a sparkling diamond, and they live happily ever after. I've been sitting in this blooming living room for hours now, and noooo Prince Charming, people!!

I think that my husband must have sensed my frustration.

Just a few nights ago, I was in the middle of showing my friend Esther the fabulous - and deeply discounted- shoes I had found for her at Target. Just then, my phone went off. I was yanked from dream world and sleepily said, "Hello....?"

And there, of all people, was the man of my dreams!

And I heard my Prince Charming.
And we talked happily ever after for 30 minutes.
And I was reminded that "no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true."

:)