I saw how much he loved YOU!

I was shopping online for the perfect Father’s Day gift for my baby daddy, when I came across this adorable plaque. It said, I never knew how much I loved your father, until I saw how much he loved you.

Now, I knew Dan for three years before we got married. I knew that his favorite meal is peanut butter chicken, that he owned only one pair of faded and rather oversized jeans, that he can’t talk and drive at the same time, and that he loves magic tricks. But I honestly didn’t know how well he interacted with kids. (Acting like one doesn’t mean you can play well with one!) I crossed my fingers and hoped it would be a dormant, if not already-developed skill.

After testing him out on the neighbors’ kids and a few church kids and four nieces, I was pleasantly surprised to find that he did a pretty good job! Granted, he had still to get the diapering thing down- you know, the skill where you fit BOTH butt cheeks into the diaper… and we had to talk about the whole Freezie Pops and candy for dinner thing- but overall, he was showing some great promise!

Fast forward two and a half years. And it’s our turn! We’re sitting in a cute room looking at a big screen, watching our baby squirm and kick on the ultrasound monitor. With just a few days left before Dan deployment, we decided to schedule one last look together at our little guy. The tech freezes the screen and points out the two cute little tushy cheeks. She hesitantly asks, “Mommy, Daddy, what do you see right there in the middle?”

… Puzzled silence …

“Um… nothing?” answered Dan.

And that’s when I start laughing hysterically. “Are you kidding?! Our boy is a girl?!”

For months, all Dan had talked about was having a boy. Because, boys can wrestle and play baseball, and you can throw boys in the air and splash them in the pool. Because boys are tough and adventurous and wild and… well… awesome, duh! When we found out that our little kidney bean was a boy, I breathed a sigh of relief and felt I had accomplished my duties as a dedicated wife.

And so at the word ‘girl’, I froze in the middle of my laughing, and looked over at my man to see how he was taking in this horrible disappointment.

Boy, was I surprised! Pure joy! That man was beaming! What in the world was going on?!

We laughed all the way home… we laughed telling our families… Dan told me he just couldn’t stop laughing and smiling to himself the entire next day.

I finally asked him, What gives?!

And he told me that while he was out walking the dog, he came across some pretty pink wildflowers and picked a handful. He imagined one day being able to pick flowers and give them to his daughter… taking her on Daddy dates… giving her such a perfect example of how a princess ought to be treated that she wouldn’t settle for anything less when she went looking for Prince Charming one day.

And I think that’s when it hit me. This man I married- this silly, crazy, weird, charming, darling man- was going to be a fabulous father!

My parents divorced when I was 14, and my usually acute memory can’t seem to dig up a lot of father-daughter moments. I remember beer-battered chicken and Sunday morning coffee cake… and I remember Dad’s hands. I remember thinking that the big caulk-covered, rough hands were the epitome of truly manly hands, and I liked them.

When Dan is away, one of my favorite ways to feel closer to him is to look through our pictures. And, do you know what my favorite pictures are? The ones where Dan’s hands are wrapped around me. I’ve always liked Dan’s hands because they’re big (and a little hairy) and strong, like the ones I admired in my childhood… because my little hand feels so safe inside his. And because those strong, competent hands know when to be tender hands, too.

I cannot wait to see those hands hold our baby girl for the first time. To see her little tiny fingers wrap around her daddy’s. To watch those chubby fists reach out for daddy’s hands to pick her up. To watch her take her first wobbly steps into those outstretched daddy hands. To see little and big fingers work together to learn to tie shoelaces. To giggle as daddy hands attempt a first ponytail in golden baby locks. Something tells me that a set of delicate little fingers will be wrapped around a big heart long after our girl has outgrown Barbies and Bumbos!

And I don’t think I’d have it any other way!

So, this Father’s Day I just want to send this message to someone special:

As our little family expands, I find my heart growing, too, to make room for the new joy we’ve been given. And, I find the impossible happening- I’m growing MORE in love with you… as I see you love our little girl so sacrificially and so tenderly. You are going to make a wonderful father, and I thank God for the privilege of partnering with you in this awesome journey! We love you and miss you… and we can’t wait to each claim one of your big hands when you get home!

Happy Fathers’ Day!